"я тебя люблю" "спасибо" ("I love you" "Thank you")

#newcompanionshipawkwardness

Sis. Hansen and current companion, Sis. Symons, Almaty, KZ

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii loves.

this week was just...emotional.  hahahahah i don't even know what to talk about.  life. :')

the first part of the week was spent in astana and it was pretty emotional.  partially because we met with 283492389023 people to say goodbye (like d, our english friends, a (the student that works with brother creig), m, n, c. z...so many people.  so many miracles.  it's crazy because looking back, i just see how the Lord moved mountains for us every day in that flat city and leaving it is probably one of the saddest things i've ever done)

Sis. Hansen, friend and Slight, Bayterek Observation Tower, Astana, KZ

Bayterek Observation Tower, Astana KZ 

"#hollaatyourgirl #dunnowhyimusingsomanyhashtags #yolo"

and partially because we woke up at 5:30 every morning to get everything done in time without having to break the rules and go to bed late (holla at the "striving for exact obedience" life).  heh heh.  the tired nela 

#stillmouthbreatheonaccidentsometimes

hahahha the mouth breathing one is my favorite...i was half conscious while it was happening and knew i had to close my mouth but didn't have the capability to.  sister slight said she wouldn't have photoed it except that sister morrison (who is in the background laughing her head off...hahah I LOVE THAT COUPLE WITH MY WHOLE HEART.  seriously.  who knew...)

being subject to more emotions than fully-rested sister hansen is still a thing.  but all is well.  it was just a really good first half of the week, even though we got hugged a few times and it was pretty awkward. #whatisphysicaltouch

the second half of the week was spent in astana with our new missionaries!!  we got elder shaw, sister symons (my comp) and sister peterson.  

Sis. Slight, Sis. Hansen, Sis. Peterson and Sis. Symons, KZ

we had some cool sightseeing, 

#hot #cool

it's a lot greener down here and there was a lot of rain last week 

some realllllly good instruction in zone training, a really hard goodbye (with sister slight.

the. worst.  even sister toronto cried watching us say goodbye.  thanks feelings who do you think you are.  plus the morrisons!!  and elder longin and elder cluff!!  SO MANY PEOPLE I LOVE LEAVING ME WHY), probably like 7 hours and 1200 dollars worth of shopping to get our new apartment up and going, a suuuuper good time at church seeing all the loved ones and trying to get on top of life and back into a regular groove.  it's pretty crazy stuff.  still haven't really figured it all out.  but we're getting there, and what's more important, the Lord is really helping.  sister symons is amazing and unafraid of anything.  

Sis. Symons

she's just ready to work and loves the Lord and these people so much.  it's so inspiring remembering those first days and all the fire and mistakes and pure heartedness.  it's a good life.  she will do great things with the Lord here and i'm really excited to be serving with her.

sorry for the lack of details but one of the best things was our time with m.  

"M [cropped out for safety reasons] and sister slight ft. ugly looking sister hansen #didntsleeplastweek"

we met with her to say goodbye and had a fine meeting.  she even wrote me a card that was so cute (funniest thing of my life.  we were like "well we'd better go" and then she's like "uhh....okay i'm going to run over there really fast, don't leave" and we waited for like 10 minutes.  she came back with a card in her hand and put it in her backpack and pulled it out and was like "hey, here's the note i wrote you...while i was at home..." and we started laughing and she started laughing and was like "okay I HAD NO TIME i'm sorry okay" and it was the best and i hate that you can't tell this story in a funny way over the internet.  boo) and happy to read.  but the best was the text we got from her that night (in english, too, which is adorable).  keep in mind everything i said about her last week:

"Hey, sisters!  I haven't written a lot in the card. I just want you to know one that you really change people life! I really liked all you lesson and stories even if I didn't show. I was coming home after our meetings and thought about it a lot. You changed my life.. and I am so grateful to God that I met you here. Usually I try to keep a distant with people but I couldn't do it with you, cause you are so amazing! I'll send you another card later." 

I shared that story while I taught during zone training and just bawled.  The Lord loves His children.  With all His heart.  And I know that these people are so special to Him.  Even though I don't always know how to help others, He does.  He lifts and loves and heals them.  And as we take faith-filled steps forward, striving to do the right, even when other forces would try to convince us that it means nothing, I know the Lord works through us and manifests His hand.  how great the plan of our God.

all the love, fam.  talk to you soon and pray for you always.  be thinking about when you want to skype in a few weeks!!  

all the love.  hurrah for israel.

sister hansen

"ах, мормоны ищут блины" (ah, Mormons seek pancakes)

[Note from Sis. Hansen's mum: I'm just prefacing her email with a part of her correspondence with me. I thought it would be appropriate to put this here. -lh  "also, sorry for being so bad about emailing today (and every day, but especially today).  i'm trying to figure out how to write to president and what to say in the big email and i don't know how to do it because my heart is all jsiroaj rioajsrklasemrlkawrjkalerjawlk4jwlkwlka right now.  i thought i would be stoked to go back to almaty and to train in my "homeland", and i am, but my heart is breaking leaving these people and knowing their faith and just a tiny bit of how hard it is for them and knowing that they need Him just as much as I do  aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh mum.  jaklsj aklsrjlksarjaklrjlksrjsarlkasrej.]

(one of the rules in kz is that we aren't allowed to talk about religion right off the bat and we aren't supposed to just approach people to try to talk to them about God...so we end up asking looots of questions about where to find things when we talk to people on the street in order to get them to stop and talk to us.  the title is one of the reactions we got from a lady who reallllly wanted to help us find blini 

Blini - Russian crepes 

(Photo source: http://tarasmulticulturaltable.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/blini-1-of-3.jpg)

and found out we were mormons in the meantime. priceless.)

hellllo loved ones.

astana, kazakhstan is zion.  i just hope you all know that.

M felt the spirit this week.  we were at sister stice's house and listening to stories about their trip to taraz when sister stice invited us to share a spiritual thought.  we hadn't planned anything but we had talked a bit about what we would share with M if the chance came up and decided to talk about President Uchtdorf's most recent conference address.  

background: M NEVER talks about God herself and sometimes makes us think that talking about religion in general is suuper uncomfortable for her, and even though she's a member we sometimes think that maybe she doesn't consider herself a member anymore.  but she has a soul of GOLD, and this week we got a text from her that said "do you really believe that God loves everyone?  or is that just something you've been taught since childhood?" we were shocked.  but as we really prayed and discussed the reasons why we know that and how that truth became part of our souls, we really felt the spirit and gave her an answer.  she never replied.  but on friday, while we were at the stices, we explained the story of dresden [during the war, and today].  

(Photos courtesy broadcast.lds.org)

and then we just got to share a simple story about when we felt like that city and that the healing we have felt in how the Lord has so lovingly and carefully put us back together.  we cried a little bit.  and she did too.  and we know that the Lord gave us the testimony she needed to hear.  He loves her and loves all of us and it never ceases to amaze me the lengths He will go to to orchestrate a moment that will touch the heart of just ONE of His children.

Sis. Hansen and her friend (cropped out for privacy reasons), Astana, KZ

N came to church yesterday for the first time in almost a year.  he translated my talk and even though before i'd been nervous to give it, i have never smiled so big walking up to the podium before.  testifying about the power of Jesus Christ to heal our hearts and that in His eyes, it's never too late for any of us--that there's no such thing as a hopeless cause--i was just so grateful for the chance to share that part of my heart with N.  even if no one else listened, i know he did and i pray with my whole heart that he felt it and knew it was true for himself.

sister z--a mongolian sister that is just a rock and speaks not super proper russian and that i think people tend to take for granted sometimes--told us yesterday that sometimes she thinks about leaving the church and going back where it's easier.  it is so hard to do what she does.  beyond the regular struggles of a branch and missionary work, the church is facing some potential legal problems here and she is worried that if things DO escalate, they will arrest her because she's the one that signs all the documents.  she basically has the branch on her shoulders, spiritually and in a logical sense.  and usually she bears it all with laughter and with such childlike patience, but yesterday she told us that sometimes it's just so hard.  we were just bawling listening to this Christlike woman--who always puts 5000 tenge (5000 Kazakhstani Tenge equals
14.9134 US Dollar) into the missionary fund each month because she's sad that her home (which is outside of the city and doesn't even have running water) is too far away and in too poor of a condition to have missionaries over for dinner--talk about how she believes it all and loves the temple and knows it's true but sometimes feels like it's too much and that her strength isn't enough.  getting to testify about the strength of the Savior to pick us up and carry us and testifying that THAT is what we should rely on because it will ALWAYS be enough, even when our strength truly isn't...it just was so special.

the turkey elders are life-changing, and even though they are 4 time zones away and we see each other really rarely, there are few people in the world that i admire as much as them and that i seek to emulate as much as them.

also, jeremiah 16:14-16.  

"14 ¶Therefore, behold, the days come, saith the Lord, that it shall no more be said, The Lord liveth, that brought up the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt;

 15 But, The Lord liveth, that brought up the children of Israel from the land of the north, and from all the lands whither he had driven them: and I will bring them again into their land that I gave unto their fathers.

 16 ¶Behold, I will send for many fishers, saith the Lord, and they shall fish them; and after will I send for many hunters, and they shall hunt them from every mountain, and from every hill, and out of the holes of the rocks."

yes.  from the beginning this scripture has just been the realest.  too good. 

serving with sister slight has been heavenly.  

Sis. Slight and Sis. Hansen at a bus stop, Astana, KZ

i mean that in every sense you could imagine.  we have sought every day to be more than just girls doing a good thing in a foreign country and to give up our hearts and souls and weaknesses and fears and favorite sins and inadequacies and doubts to serve the Lord, to serve the Savior and to serve Heavenly Father's precious children.  i wish i could tell you how much i admire her or all the reasons why, but the joy and the sorrow we have felt together has been felt by people like alma and amulek, like lehi and moroni, like ammon and aaron.  and even though our contributions have been imperfect, the divinity we have felt while doing it is undeniable and i could not be more grateful.  the Lord has been with us every step of the way.  He really, really, really loves us.  He loves them.  He loves you.  and i'm trying to love Him with my whole heart, too.

"my brothers and my brethren, behold i say unto you, how great reason have we to rejoice; for could we have supposed when we started from the land into the land of astana that God would have granted unto us such great blessings? ... behold, i say unto you, i cannot say the smallest part which i feel."

life is heavy and God is good.

love you all with my whole heart.  pray for you always and hope that you feel His hand and love in every moment this week.  as we draw near to Him, He draws near to us and that i know.  

with all the love in the world.

sister hansen

i don't know what to put here anymore

HELLO LOVED ONES!!

this day is just a day of joy.  the grass is green and the sun is shining and the ground is clean and LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.

This week was a really cleansing one.  We had really good goals for this week as far as key indicators, but as we tried with all our hearts to accomplish them it didn't really work out.  But there were SO many good things that happened and I just want to share a few of those.

- a girl came to English on Friday evening and started talking to Sister Slight about what on earth a "relief society is" because she had read parts of "our book" and she wanted to come to general conference!  The next day she came and watched a session and stayed and talked with us and it was really good.  She didn't want to give us our number or hear more right now BUT I know she felt the spirit.  An especially strong moment for me was when she randomly asked about why we don't drink tea.  I was thinking about how to answer her in a way that she would understand and I was worried about the language because that's something I don't talk about very often and I just had all these thoughts and doubts because I wanted it to be perfect...and in perfect peace and love and faith, Sister Slight just opened her mouth and shared simple and real truths.  It was sincere and she explained that she doesn't know exactly why all the things are the way they are, but that she keeps it because she believes it from God and the girl was moved.  She said, "that's faith!" and loved that.  She was moved and I was too.  Sister Slight is a powerful, loving, faith-filled servant of our Heavenly Father and I'm glad I got to witness that.  As far as the girl, her name is D and we have lots of hope for what will happen with her!

- we got a referral from a man who knew a Kazakh girl while she lived in Indiana and took lessons there and she wants to keep meeting!  So we'll meet with her this week!

- we contacted a lot and it was seriously some miraculous time.  We have really sought to develop the faith to find those that are ready to be baptized and to manifest that in specific and heartfelt prayers and in action, and we are really seeing a difference.  We're really seeking to talk to all we can in sweet boldness and Christlike love and even though we don't do it perfectly ever day, we feel the Lord supporting us and are enjoying the work a lot.

- General Conference!  That was just the answer to every question of my heart.  I had questions about how to help the work here, how to use the Book of Mormon better, how to finish really being all the Lord wants me to be, how to continue to find meaning in life after the mission...and the Lord in His mercy just showered it on me.  One moment that meant a lot to me was Friday night.  D had left without agreeing to any return appointments or anything and I felt like I had ruined it and my heart was just really sad because in that moment I just felt like I ruin first interactions with people.  Just worrying about D and that maybe I had done something that evening to stop her from giving us her number or about I and N a few months ago and how they didn't want to hear more after the first lesson even though they were miraculous and I just felt sop sad.  But rereading President Uchdorf's talk

was just like an answer to my prayers.  He talked about the parable of the sheep and how it's more than about our duties, but a beautiful illustration of the attitude Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have towards us.  The line "the sheep is worthy of divine rescue simply because it is loved by the Good Shepherd" just calmed my heart so much.  I am so grateful for the Lord and for His love and patience and for the fact that He is more merciful that I tend to give Him credit for.

- EVERYTHING!!  I don't know exactly how to explain the changes taking place in the work and in my life and heart right now but I feel them and I am just so grateful.  This week taught me a lot about to what deep degree I am reliant on the Lord but also about His perfect love in helping me in that quest to be better for Him for other people.  I just feel so surely that He loves me, that He loves these people, that His work will go forward here and that He is ready and walking with us every day--and that He is already working in the faith-filled steps we are seeking to take forward.  And it is just joy.  This morning I read in D&C 109 and especially verses 22, 23, 56 and 57 really struck me.

" 22 And we ask thee, Holy Father, that thy servants may go forth from this house armed with thy power, and that thy name may be upon them, and thy glory be round about them, and thine angels have charge over them;

 "23 And from this place they may bear exceedingly great and glorious tidings, in truth, unto the ends of the earth, that they may know that this is thy work, and that thou hast put forth thy hand, to fulfil that which thou hast spoken by the mouths of the prophets, concerning the last days.

"56 That their hearts may be softened when thy servants shall go out from thy house, O Jehovah, to bear testimony of thy name; that their prejudices may give way before the truth, and thy people may obtain favor in the sight of all;

"57 That all the ends of the earth may know that we, thy servants, have heard thy voice, and that thou hast sent us;"

Even though I'm excited to serve the Lord the rest of my life, I am SO grateful and in awe for this time to do His work as His servant here in Kazakhstan.  I hope to give Him and them everything I can.  And even though my all is nothing in comparison to our Savior's awe, how much He blesses and loves us for doing what we can. (that was a huuuge thing I learned from conference.  THE LORD LOVES US.  And we should never forget or take that for granted.  And I hope you just feel it allll the time.)

LAST THING is that yesterday, we got a call from the Almaty phone...FROM E.  She wanted the number of the missionaries down there!!  And agreed to meet with me and my companion when we go down there to serve next week!!  She didn't say why but implied that she wants to meet with missionaries again.  AND I WANTED TO CRY.  That is the miracle and the promise and the wonder of the gospel.  That the Lord loves us and that through His boundless love, and especially through the manifestion of that love through Jesus Christ and His Atonement, NONE of us are past change, past saving or out of His love.  

Love you TOO MUCH my dear family.  Super grateful this weekend for this gospel that binds hearts and that families are forever.  Hope all is well and that you are working hard and being happy.  In the words of Brother Keeley, "we do our best and then ask for grace."  And how grateful I am to be a recepient of that daily.  The church is true, the gospel is a miracle and the love is real.  

Love you and pray for you ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS.

Sister Hansen