HELLO LOVED ONES!!
wowowowoow i am so happy and excited to write this email!! HAPPY MONDAY!! how are all of you?! this morning i woke up with tears in my eyes because the longer i'm on my mission, the more i feel like 10:30-6:30 is secretly actually only 30 seconds long but during studies i just felt so much SUNSHINE in my soul and now i get to talk to you, people i really love!! joy of the gospel, you know?! and the joy of people. and love. and relationships. so many dang blessings. IT'S A GREAT WAVE.
This week we had zone conference with President and Sister Toronto and Elder and Sister Kacher from the area presidency/quorum of the 70 (which was cool bc he pretty much changed my life about a year ago when I was getting ready to leave the MTC and he told us this: "do not deny the Lord the opportunity to work miracles"). SO GOOD. It alllll started with interviews with President on Thursday night. Found out some pretty cool news...THERE ARE MORE SISTERS COMING TO KZ!! Aaaaaand THERE ARE SISTERS GOING TO TURKEY!! Brothers and sisters, that is truly a miracle. We were talking about going home (which will happen in July...JULY. SO DANG SOON. WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT.) and life after and making decisions and it was happy. Then we started talking about finishing strong and struggles with feelings of inadequacy and the entire feeling in the room changed. President started telling me about his own experiences with that feeling and how there have been lots of times in his life when he felt sad--whether as a missionary or a person--because he felt like he was trying to do his best but that it wasn't enough. He then told me about how at some unidentifiable point in his life, he just realized that the Savior, in His perfect grace, mercy and unbounded love, completed the Atonement for those feelings, too. And he said he decided to let it in. And he stopped caring about whether or not he was doing things perfectly and just continued to do his best and let the Savior do what He promised to do and heal him. He talked about Eve and how she realized that we had to make mistakes if we ever wanted to grow and experience happiness and he said to let mistakes happen because that's how we grow and to just go forward doing my best and with the Atonement. He said "Christianity is a positive experience"--and I loved that. It just answered so many of the questions of my heart. I wish I could just share the peace and the joy I felt. The spirit was so strong and it was so enabling to realize that these mistakes that plague me so often can be what push me closer to the Lord instead of what keeps us distant--all because of the Atonement. Reminds me of a quote from Elder Packer:
"I bear witness that Jesus is the Christ and the Son of the living God. He stands at the head of the Church.Through His Atonement and the
power of the priesthood, families which are begun in mortality can be together through the eternities. The Atonement, which can reclaim each one of us, bears no scars. That means that no matter what we have done or where we have been or how something happened, if we truly repent, He has promised that He would atone. And when He atoned, that settled that. There are so many of us who are thrashing around, as it were, with feelings of guilt, not knowing quite how to escape. You escape by accepting the Atonement of Christ, and all that was heartache can turn to beauty and love and eternity."
And that is TRUE!! So good. We also talked about how the gospel is all about relationships and sincerity and agreed to go on a double date someday in life. Basically, he is the best and the gospel changes lives. That's all.
The next day, we had a meeting with everyone and Elder Kacher.
A few big themes were faith, boldness and knowing the Lord through scripture study, and the Book of Mormon in particular. So good! E. K shared a story about his mission in Tahiti that I looooved (p.s. he was a convert who moved to Utah to ski when he was 17 and wrote an essay at BYU about why he would never join the church. The gospel changes hearts you feel me). Once, his president told him he had to go to these islands where there were a bunch of people and no missionaries and just testify. The boat stopped at each island for like 30 minutes and he was told to get off and just testify to everyone with his whole soul. The first time he did it, he gave kind of a weak effort and felt really awkward and said he got back on the boat feeling like a failure because he hadn't given his all to the Lord. so every time he went back, he got better and better and bolder and bolder until he finally felt like he was giving the Lord everything he had to give. He then said that the greatest joy and satisfaction of his mission wasn't the outward success or the baptisms but simply the feeling of really knowing he had given it all to the Lord. And that's the DREAM. I love that. And I'm working on it. And a tender truth of the gospel that never ceases to impress me is the fact that as we take whatever tiny steps we can manage to the Lord, He rushes in and multiplies all our efforts and blessings. Too good. It reminds me of this quote:
“That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do, not that the nature of the thing has changed but that our power to do has increased.”
Mannnnn okay okay okay time is getting tight but basically, Elder Longin and I won the awards of "most falls" and were gifted ice grips (hahahahah SO DANG EMBARRASSING. we finished at 13 and 10, respectively)
From Sis. Toronto (Mission President's wife: "These two are the winners of boot grips. Why?? They hold the record for the most falls this winter in Frozen Kazakhstan! We love these two wonderful young people!
President and Sister Toronto")
and I got your package and we contacted a lot and life is a GREAT WAVE. I just love the gospel. and being a missionary. And all of you. And the Lord. And it is such a blessing to be here. The church is true!! God is good! 1 Thess 2:8
" 8 So being affectionately desirous of you, we were willing to have imparted unto you, not the gospel of God only, but also our own a souls, because ye were dear unto us."
is the dream and I'm leaving my heart and my regrets in Kazakhstan. And I just hope that each of you this week feel that same uplifting and healing power of the Atonement as we continue to seek to come unto Christ and be a little more. His burden is easy and His yoke is light. And you can do it now :)
Sorry this is cheesy and long but i just love yous. Have a happy week my dears!! Love you and pray for you always always always.
Love,
Sister Hansen
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