Monday, April 11, 2016

i don't know what to put here anymore

HELLO LOVED ONES!!

this day is just a day of joy.  the grass is green and the sun is shining and the ground is clean and LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.

This week was a really cleansing one.  We had really good goals for this week as far as key indicators, but as we tried with all our hearts to accomplish them it didn't really work out.  But there were SO many good things that happened and I just want to share a few of those.

- a girl came to English on Friday evening and started talking to Sister Slight about what on earth a "relief society is" because she had read parts of "our book" and she wanted to come to general conference!  The next day she came and watched a session and stayed and talked with us and it was really good.  She didn't want to give us our number or hear more right now BUT I know she felt the spirit.  An especially strong moment for me was when she randomly asked about why we don't drink tea.  I was thinking about how to answer her in a way that she would understand and I was worried about the language because that's something I don't talk about very often and I just had all these thoughts and doubts because I wanted it to be perfect...and in perfect peace and love and faith, Sister Slight just opened her mouth and shared simple and real truths.  It was sincere and she explained that she doesn't know exactly why all the things are the way they are, but that she keeps it because she believes it from God and the girl was moved.  She said, "that's faith!" and loved that.  She was moved and I was too.  Sister Slight is a powerful, loving, faith-filled servant of our Heavenly Father and I'm glad I got to witness that.  As far as the girl, her name is D and we have lots of hope for what will happen with her!

- we got a referral from a man who knew a Kazakh girl while she lived in Indiana and took lessons there and she wants to keep meeting!  So we'll meet with her this week!

- we contacted a lot and it was seriously some miraculous time.  We have really sought to develop the faith to find those that are ready to be baptized and to manifest that in specific and heartfelt prayers and in action, and we are really seeing a difference.  We're really seeking to talk to all we can in sweet boldness and Christlike love and even though we don't do it perfectly ever day, we feel the Lord supporting us and are enjoying the work a lot.

- General Conference!  That was just the answer to every question of my heart.  I had questions about how to help the work here, how to use the Book of Mormon better, how to finish really being all the Lord wants me to be, how to continue to find meaning in life after the mission...and the Lord in His mercy just showered it on me.  One moment that meant a lot to me was Friday night.  D had left without agreeing to any return appointments or anything and I felt like I had ruined it and my heart was just really sad because in that moment I just felt like I ruin first interactions with people.  Just worrying about D and that maybe I had done something that evening to stop her from giving us her number or about I and N a few months ago and how they didn't want to hear more after the first lesson even though they were miraculous and I just felt sop sad.  But rereading President Uchdorf's talk



was just like an answer to my prayers.  He talked about the parable of the sheep and how it's more than about our duties, but a beautiful illustration of the attitude Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have towards us.  The line "the sheep is worthy of divine rescue simply because it is loved by the Good Shepherd" just calmed my heart so much.  I am so grateful for the Lord and for His love and patience and for the fact that He is more merciful that I tend to give Him credit for.

- EVERYTHING!!  I don't know exactly how to explain the changes taking place in the work and in my life and heart right now but I feel them and I am just so grateful.  This week taught me a lot about to what deep degree I am reliant on the Lord but also about His perfect love in helping me in that quest to be better for Him for other people.  I just feel so surely that He loves me, that He loves these people, that His work will go forward here and that He is ready and walking with us every day--and that He is already working in the faith-filled steps we are seeking to take forward.  And it is just joy.  This morning I read in D&C 109 and especially verses 22, 23, 56 and 57 really struck me.

" 22 And we ask thee, Holy Father, that thy servants may go forth from this house armed with thy power, and that thy name may be upon them, and thy glory be round about them, and thine angels have charge over them;

 "23 And from this place they may bear exceedingly great and glorious tidings, in truth, unto the ends of the earth, that they may know that this is thy work, and that thou hast put forth thy hand, to fulfil that which thou hast spoken by the mouths of the prophets, concerning the last days.
"56 That their hearts may be softened when thy servants shall go out from thy house, O Jehovah, to bear testimony of thy name; that their prejudices may give way before the truth, and thy people may obtain favor in the sight of all;
"57 That all the ends of the earth may know that we, thy servants, have heard thy voice, and that thou hast sent us;"
Even though I'm excited to serve the Lord the rest of my life, I am SO grateful and in awe for this time to do His work as His servant here in Kazakhstan.  I hope to give Him and them everything I can.  And even though my all is nothing in comparison to our Savior's awe, how much He blesses and loves us for doing what we can. (that was a huuuge thing I learned from conference.  THE LORD LOVES US.  And we should never forget or take that for granted.  And I hope you just feel it allll the time.)

LAST THING is that yesterday, we got a call from the Almaty phone...FROM E.  She wanted the number of the missionaries down there!!  And agreed to meet with me and my companion when we go down there to serve next week!!  She didn't say why but implied that she wants to meet with missionaries again.  AND I WANTED TO CRY.  That is the miracle and the promise and the wonder of the gospel.  That the Lord loves us and that through His boundless love, and especially through the manifestion of that love through Jesus Christ and His Atonement, NONE of us are past change, past saving or out of His love.  

Love you TOO MUCH my dear family.  Super grateful this weekend for this gospel that binds hearts and that families are forever.  Hope all is well and that you are working hard and being happy.  In the words of Brother Keeley, "we do our best and then ask for grace."  And how grateful I am to be a recepient of that daily.  The church is true, the gospel is a miracle and the love is real.  

Love you and pray for you ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS.

Sister Hansen

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