Seeing as I have sent you horrific emails for the last 17 months, I figured I'd send you at least a semi-decent one today. because hey, let's be real...being a missionary is the BEST THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. aaaand my emails should probably at least reflect the joy and miracles we see and experience you feel me. heh heh.
"behold, I will show you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all who He has chosen..." (1 Nephi 1:20)
THIS WEEK, that includes:
Gratitude! Sometimes I want to panic and be sad that time is ticking but this week has just been one of work and joy and gratitude. I love being a missionary! And today, I'm simply happy for and humbled by this time to be a representative of Jesus Christ among people that He loves so much.
GOING TO ASTANA ON EXCHANGES!!! That really just changed my entire life. First of all, we saw what is probably the cutest baby in the entire PLANET on the plane. Think baby from Ice Age.
(Source: http://www.mattfind.com/12345673215-3-2-3_img/movie/k/e/l/ice_age_2002_1008x567_323773.jpg)
Second, WE GOT TO DO MISSIONARY WORK IN ASTANA WITH THE SISTERS AND PEOPLE WE LOVE SO MUCH!!
The KZ Sisters (L-R): Sis. Morrison, Sis. Hansen, Sis. Peterson, Sis. Symons and Sis. Slight
Photo credit: Sis. Diane Toronto
Sister Peterson and I served together the first day and it was great. Before the exchanges, the thing she said she wanted to learn about was different contacting techniques--how to start conversations and how to tie in the gospel every time. She doesn't have her permission to preach yet, and while any person in the world would be dying of frustration and stress right now, she is a CHAMP and finding ways to thrive. She had an experience last week where she contacted a man on the bus under the rules and he ended up meeting with them to hear about the gospel, and since then she decided never to discount the miracles the Lord can work through her even now. Basically, she's a stud. Also, a man told her that she should wear a habit because it would suit her and she would look just like Mother Theresa. hahaha. #love101
We had a meeting with N which was just the BEST because a) we got to help N and b) Sister P just shared her whole soul during that lesson! His favorite hymn is "Brightly Beams our Father's Mercy"
so we sang that together in the beginning and the spirit was so strong. Getting to share real ways the Savior and our faith in Him has helped us was too good (remember that one time when I was in the best circumstances ever in Russia but was super sad and wanted to come home and was doubting everything but literally could not doubt that Christ was my Savior or the things I'd felt in His church and how in a very real way, it kept me together? Helaman 5:12
"12 And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty stormshall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall."
is REAL okay) and getting to remind him that the way to continue to feel the Savior's love and strength is in HIS very church. And he listened and I think he felt something and getting to invite someone I love SO much to truly come unto Christ was a blessing and a privilege.
We contacted together for our evening block and that was really one of the funnest and most rewarding things that's happened lately. We just sought to open our mouths to as many people as possible to share the gospel with them! And we did. And even though sometimes the questions that came out were less smooth than we had planned and not every single conversation got to the gospel, we really felt the spirit lead us alllll night long and we saw how the Lord just put people in our path that have so much potential (like A, the woman who has seen temples in Utah before!). It was a big testimony builder for me too because it just reminded me that the Lord confirms right choices not just with miracles, but with joy in your own heart. We also met a man who, in the beginning, was trash talking Mormons and telling us that we live by old weird rituals and that we wear pioneer clothes (which was ironic because the ~fabulous~ Sister P was literally right in front of his eyes...), and by the end wanted to read the Book of Mormon! The Lord just goes before our face every single day and places people in the path. Even the grandma that we contacted by asking where the nearest bathroom was that told us that such a big city SHOULD have toilets and that it's embarrassing that it doens't because "PEOPLE ARE SUFFERING!!! I AM SUFFERING!!" it has been a long time since I've seen so much passion in such a tiny, wrinkly, cute body. #bless Afterward, she told me that really helped her understand how to start conversations while street or bus contacting and how to get to the gospel and it helped her feel the fire again. She saw her faith grow and mine did as well. Basically, she's the best. Her Russian is SO good, she laughs an appropriate amount (think Elder Wirthlin in 'Come What May and Love It')
and she is willing to start a conversation with anyone. At one point there was a family on the street that I knew we should talk to but I felt nervous about starting a conversation with. While we were approaching them, I was racking my brain to think of a question...and then she surprised me by opening her own mouth and just going for it! It was so good. Also, blini.
Source: https://www.russianfooddirect.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Blini-2.jpg
Serving with Sister Slight!
Sis. Hansen and Sis. Slight doing a service project with the other members
Really, I don't know what it is but something happened in our companionship this winter that is almost magical, and whenever we're together I feel such an increased desire to do everything the Lord expects of us and greater faith in what He can do as we become those kinds of people. It was so happy and like home to be there and to work under those circumstanes! We contacted and met some people who REALLY didn't want to hear what we had to say and a cool kid that went to ASU even though he's from Moscow ("ah...you're recruiting" haha) and met some really lovely souls. We also got a call from a woman we contacted this winter! We met with her and she said she'd been having a super hard time lately and just wanted to tell me her problems because even though she hadn't been interested in the gospel at the time, she remembered that I believed in God. Cute woman. We met with their new investigator, V, and he had SO many questions about the Book of Mormon. Really good questions, too. For example, how could did these people live by the law of Christ (the law of baptism, repentance, faith, grace, etc) when all the people before them lived the law of Moses (saying that essentially the law of Christ hadn't been introduced yet and couldn't have been lived by until the other law was fulfilled)? Why didn't Isaiah get to know about Christ's law when SO much else got revealed to him? How could Laban--a powerful, important man, have been both drunk AND left alone in the middle of the street? Things like that. We got to answer all these questions with scriptures from the Book of Mormon and that was suuuper cool because we got to see the fruits of all the studying and praying and seeking for understanding we do every day. But all the answers we gave that he wasn't satisfied with we backed up with our personal, sincere testimonies of the divinity of the Book of Mormon and that he can know too. It was great and he's a super good guy. It's also neat how Sister Slight always teaches from a place of sincerity and calm faith. She never gets stressed or frustrated or ruffled. Somehow, she always sees the other person as a child of God and is able to think and teach by the Spirit because she doesn't have that barrier of stress or panic getting in the way. So good.
That evening pretty much killed my soul. I got sick and at English I thought I was going to die and pulled out my contacts and everything...it was so pathetic and so ugly. hahha. but talking to those friends we made that we have actually come to love so much and that I know will accept it someday was so great. Someone even had a dream about me in which I cursed someone out in PERFECT RUSSIAN. and I mean, cursing someone out isn't my style, but he said the words I was using were "really, super Russian". ahahahha. M was there (!!!!) and she was skyping with Sister Johnson, who asked if she could play us a song. She played "count on me" by Bruno Mars
and then just said she loves us all and that even though the mission ends, the friendships never do. That's when the tears started...AND THEN THEY DIDN'T STOP. Walking out of the branch there for the last time tore my heart open and then saying goodbye one by one to our favorites there as they went to their various bus stops cut a new heartstring every time. THE VERY WORST, though, was M. Wowowowowowowow. she gave me the Little Prince in Russian.
The Little Prince is Sis. Hansen's favorite book
Source: http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31qpCu2UXfL._BO1,204,203,200_.jpg
and we just hugged. and cried. and said that we will see each other again and expressed gratitude and that was it and it just killed me. SO GRATEFUL for that Christlike soul and for how she has shaped and taught me. Just experience the most profound gratitude for every person the Lord has allowed me to love and serve and interact with here. During planning, kept crying and just wanted to be a sad sack...until Sister Slight and I remembered President Cooke's
President and Sis. Cooke, Washington DC North Mission
(Source: http://www.ldschurchnewsarchive.com/media/photos/9190733.jpg)
(the Washington DC North mission president holla he's the best) famous line: "charlie mike". Finish the mission. And retaining and working and loving and teaching according to everything outlined in Alma 26:29-30
"29 And we have entered into their houses and taught them, and we have taught them in their streets; yea, and we have taught them upon their hills; and we have also entered into their temples and their synagogues and taught them; and we have been cast out, and mocked, and spit upon, and smote upon our cheeks; and we have been stoned, and taken and bound with strong cords, and cast into prison; and through the power and wisdom of God we have been delivered again.
"30 And we have suffered all manner of afflictions, and all this, that perhaps we might be the means of saving some soul; and we supposed that our joy would be full if perhaps we could be the means of saving some."
every day of the rest of my mission and the rest of my entire life is my goal and my prayer.
We had a giant sleepover of sisters in the living room
and actually went to bed at a decent time but I woke up Sister Peterson...by sleep talking...in Russian. ABOUT TOILETS AND PEACE. And when she said "what's that?" I got semi-conscious and said "uhh....that I said just barely? It was just...a couple of reminders...." even smooth in my sleep. hahahaha. but really, the sisters in this country are the BEST and I am so excited and grateful for the missionary culture and joy there will be here among missionaries, members and Kazakh people alike for years and years to come because of their faith, love, obedience, work and consecration. THEY ARE JUST THE BEST!!!
Had a talent show and I sang His Eye is on the Sparrow
and was sick and didn't sound good. Buuuuut a former investigator, N, was there, and she said she felt something SO strongly she almost cried! THANK YOU, SPIRIT!! there were just like 2248920482390482390 moments that evening that reminded me that as we stop questioning what we have to give and just GIVE it for our brothers and sisters, the Lord qualifies our efforts. so grateful that He makes up the difference.
Other than that, this week was fantastic. Sister Symons and I have seen miracles every single time we've done all we can to effectively plan and then just thrust in our sickles and worked. For example, yesterday--we gave away two copies of the Book of Mormon! One was to a man we contacted on Saturday evening (that was so special. Sometimes when I'm contacting, there are moments when I share the gospel because I know it's MY responsibility and will be on MY head and all that stuff, but when we talked to this man, the Lord just gave me so much love for HIM. He's old and doesn't have any children and has only been married for two years and that makes him sad, and we shared the gospel because we know that's the only way HE'LL find real peace in his heart and we really want him to find that. Too good.) and another was to a man we met as we were contacting! We were walking the same direction and we asked him a question about where to find a trash can and next thing we knew, he walked all the way to the church with us to get a Book of Mormon. Small and simple things, huh? :) He is a physics guy and doesn't leave his house that often and isn't even sure that God exists but he really listened to our testimonies and wanted to know how we had come to know, and when we said the Book of Mormon helped us and that he could know too, he came and got one. The Lord is with us! And we felt that in the big miracles and in all the joyous little moments as well. Such a happy work! And along that same note, Sister Symons is an actual angel.
On the way to church yesterday, we walked past a boy and a girl sitting on a bench. Their backs were to us and when I contacted them, the girl looked up and I saw that she was sobbing her eyes out. I felt like I'd interrupted a sacred moment and was thrown off guard and apologized and left. It made me soo sad, and I told Sister Symons about how I felt sad that I hadn't been more prepared to help her in a moment when she obviously needed some kind of help. I hadn't said anything at all! But instead of saying, "yeah, that's the worst", Sister Symons just said, "well, we can still go back!" So we took two pancakes (that we had brought for the linger longer) and literally ran back and gave them to her. We asked her if she was okay and if we could help and she told us that her brother just got sent into the army. She didn't ask us who we were so we couldn't give that much of a testimony, but we just told her God loves her and knows her and her family and that He's with them in this hard time. We gave her hugs and told her to write down our number if we can do anything and it was such a tender, satisfying, human, Christlike moment--and it was all prompted by Sister Symons. So thankful for her! She always remembers why we're here and makes it so easy to follow promptings. She's a good one.
basically, life is full of miracles and joy and laughter and fake nutella and faith and work and tears and sacrifice and the spirit and all the things that make life worth living. and i am SO GRATEFUL for it.
last words this week go to Rudyard Kipling
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Source: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/1c/Rudyard_Kipling_(portrait).jpg
and his poem "If":
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
the Lord loves us and has a plan for each of us, and i know that each day just gets better and better. the best is yet to come so we better enjoy this moment to know what to measure it against, aye? so grateful for the love and mercy and light and hope and confirmation I receive from Him and His Son, Jesus Christ, every day. They live, They love us, and this really is their church. The Book of Mormon is true and is the source of answers and that is an assurance anyone who is willing to act in sincerity can receive. God is good!
love you all SO so so much. pray for you always. talk soon and have a happy happy happy week my loves!
sister hansen
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