the last couple of days have been so happy. I take that back actually. Life is just the happiest thing, you feel me? Even when it isn't. There are just so many reasons to be grateful and happy каждый день (every day) and I love it. No bad days club. Every day is a rollercoaster but for reals, I'm enjoying the ride. Sorry for sounding cheesy but wowow I am just so so so happy because this gospel is so so so happy and I hope you're all happy too.
So I really have no idea how to format this email because sometimes I go back and look at my bullet points and see that I conveyed like zero information and -9.6 transformational things (another брат McKay-ism: focus on the transformational, not informational. Irrelevant but I have had some AMAZING mentors in my life and I am genuinely so grateful that that's continued into the MTC. From брат McKay to брат Baum to брат Smith to Cectra Jackson to Cectra Albrecht to President Williams to them all. All the love.) and it makes me sad. Suggestions are more than welcome ya heard.
Today is the happiest because a) we had an AMAZING devotional last night. Seriously inspired me so much and that--along with this talk we had from a random man in our sacrament meeting on Sunday--kind of changed my life as a missionary. And then b) the temple this morning only added to the amazement. It was incredible. I had some questions about how I can be a better missionary and I found answers and more than anything, I found hope. This work is crazy intimidating sometimes and it can be really frustrating to me because I don't know if I will ever be as good as I want to be. But this is not my mission. This is HIS mission. It was His before and it will be His after and I am so privileged to do it with Him. We're doing this one together. Like I've seriously come to think of it as a giant mentor meeting with the best most perfect and wonderful Mentor in the universe and I ALWAYS come out of them feeling better and hopeful and at peace and a little bit more the missionary He called me to be. Faith is amazing too btdubs. Part of this work will be believing that the Lord ACTUALLY CAN do His work through me. He trusted me enough to call me to it and I trust Him enough to believe it can happen. If that makes sense. Just. I'm stoked on life. But in the spiritual way. And my world is sufficiently rocked. I'm on a rollercoaster that only goes up, my friends. (hashtag cheesy movies 5ever) (also I'm really feelin that rollercoaster analogy lately) (idk) Also at the end of my temple time I read Alma 26 in the Celestial Room and just. Yes. Alma and the Sons of Mosiah are the truest homies and the best examples and I want to be just like them. In the words of the speaker last night, "don't deny the Lord opportunities to work miracles." HAVE FAITH! Because I really believe that this is His work and that He'll come through for us. Limits aren't mine to set. So let's do this, ya feel me?
AND THEN my day (slash week) was made EVEN BETTER when I read emails from all of you. I seriously love you all so much. Thank you for the laughs and casual stories and spiritual experiences and videos (p.s. PLEASE TELL ME SOMEONE STILL USES RUSTY BECAUSE I MISS MY GUITAR SO DANG MUCH) and just all the things. Love love love love love.
It's funny that yous had an experience with I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go this week because I did too. On Friday I was a bum and in the worst mood and everything that day just seemed to go from bad to worse. Things just were rough, our elders from our district (who are seriously just like the homiest. We have the best little district of 4 ever ever ever) (also I still haven't gotten a usb reader aaand I started using the wifi camera but have like 0 photos on it because there was no memory card so it can only hold like 6 photos at a time hahaha) (so sozzz for the lack of photos) who sadly leave a week before us got their travel plans AND THEN we found out that our Russian visas won't be done in time, which apparently means we will be reassigned temporarily. We find out where tomorrow. I don't really know what that's going to mean but we'll see ya feel me. Anyway I didn't know how to feel about that. Kind of just all over. And theeen my comp's been sick so we went to this little clinic and the news was on. When I saw everything that's happening in the world and remembered again how much is out there--because there is a lot of good and bad and beautiful and real and ahhh i just love this giant beautiful world we live in--I was both sad and confused and happy and just ahhh. But then I remembered that song and the words and how sincerely I trust the Lord in His tender care and believed it again. I really will go where He wants me to go, be it Kazakhstan or Russia or somewhere in the US or wherever. Kind of have no idea what my life is right now. Kind of still don't know what I feel. But I know He loves me and I'm seriously the happiest. What an adventure. And 20 seconds of crazy insane courage, am I right?
Ah man. That was a better email. Sorry I probs won't do too many personal emails after this but I just hope you know the church is true, the love is real, life is good and you are all loved and prayed for so sincerely errday. I hope your Wednesday is as happy as mine.
Last thing: a poem that Mr. Brown sent me that lowkey inspires me everyday--
I live my life in widening circlesthat reach out across the world.
I may not complete this last one
but I give myself to it.
Life is great. Love you so much. So so so much. Happy Wednesday homeslices.
Sister Hansen
P.S. Just got this lovely photo from Sis. Kay Paulson with the comment: "Had a cute visitor today!! She is great." Thank you, Sis. Paulson!
Sis. Hansen, P-Day, Wednesday, January 28, 2015. :)
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